Bla

She told me there are drugs that open your heart and some others that make you face your ego.She started to cry.She felt lost.We were laying in the grass just in front of the squareish library building.She felt like getting rid of the awful pain swelling from deep inside. Then, I realized how much she misses her friends, her past life, her cat, her fags etc.It was a new beginning chosen at a very early stage that she embraced with selfless love and enthusiasm.

Had we had the chance to choose our own future, how great we would be?Wouldn't we?

But known thing is no creature on Earth can do that no matter how thoroughly is striving.The gods from up above could not care less about us.

Then she told me about the ups and downs of one's life.We strolled the parks alleys and we roamed the night roads, carelessly.
One night I told her she's like  the Phoenix bird, that she can upbring herself from the very own ashes, that once you go through fire, you will burn within.Once you're resuscitated, you begin a new circle of life, but the ashes will be always there, emerging in different shapes and faded nuances.
They don't forget and nor do they forgive.
Anyone.Anything.

Because she is like that. A night bird with broken wings made up of ashes that once used to burn to the ground and whenever touches the ground with her feet she can still feel the pain, more vibrant and lively than ever.

Yesterday, I gave her a hug. And strongly suggested her to choose a path, wichever that may be.Some paths go straight to complete destruction of self, others go to abominance. Some others may join other paths and create confusion whnever one is found in the middle of the cross roads.

And later on she confessed that unconsciously, she brings out the best of the ones she loves.

Because

Are there enough words to best describe a person?Even if there were plenty, I wouldn't have been able to do it.
After more than one year she is still there, keeps being present sometimes without pretending anything, not saying anything, not aiming to do anything but bringing me to a reality I always have been part of.
Bucharest has been bohemian moments, feelings, music and thoughts (with ups and downs but anyway) all conveyed in her unique perspective, triggering intuition as expected . Last night she sent me a message on Couch Surfing telling me she's in Calgary, Alberta.She had an awful flight, lost her temper a few times (which is soooo unusual when talking about her cause she's that sort of...how shall I say, well...that sort of well ballanced, well paced person and still...she lost her temper).

Could hear her sipping her coffee.

She felt like calling me but she suddenly remembered I have changed my SIM card. Women are soooo unpredictible at times and thus, it makes all the effort of approaching them look redundant.Why doing it if she's always hiding something from you?She always will, no matter what.
And then she mentioned she was wearing the plaid hat I gave her when I left...more than one year ago or so.The hat I was proudly wearing whenever we met in order to take long strolls across the city centre in search for pubs with good music or cheap restaurants with quite yum food.lol

Last night I realized how much I miss our late night conversations about all the existing odds and ends, about people we met, places we went or places we'll go.She managed to put a wide grin of bewilderment on my face, which has become so rare lately.
Well...she used to be an icon of knowledge and self reliance.
She ain't anymore.She ceased to be so when she asked me for help.She needs it.
She'll come all the way to England.
And the conversations will start once again, maybe more lively, maybe less intended, godknowswhy.

 I guess I wrote all this nonsense for all the red wine bottles we drank and for all those which are forth.

:)

Cardiff

It was November, last year if I recall well and I was off to south Wales for a couple of days...you know...that kind of feeling when you really want to detach yourself from the small city life and enjoy bits and pieces of places you never been before.

It was 5:45 AM and I was just about to finish my 3rd Marlboro fag. Didn't smoke in ages but that morning for some reason I felt like doing so.Could feel the tobacco fragrance piercing into my lungs and then its up climbing warmth scraching my throat, being exhaled at the very end like a long grey line of ash.

Empty streets.

Had a blast the night before and I had almost forgotten all the essential things that had happened.I was asking if I was sober.Yes, I was. Didn't drink much. Ok, maybe a stout or two...but that ain't much.Not when you're 22...because "none of us would fail in this life, not when you're young".HAHAHA

Was still singing the Take That tune with the headphones pleasing my ears...but something was far from normal.

Head wasn't aching, but my kidneys were hurting me a bitch. No paracetamol in my left pocket.'the fuck I put it?I could sworn I put 3 pills in my pocket 4 days ago just before leaving the small city where I live.

Felt like puking...f*ck...was still too early to go to the train station, but that was too far, man.Everything was so far that morning.

 Then I remembered that a young lady was peeing in the middle of the street just a night before and was still envisaging her cheeks turning red when I asked her why doing it?

"Because I am pregnant", she said. And I LOL'd just a few steps behind her.

Was rude.

I looked above and saw the rolling seagulls making those specific noises that one cannot label them as disturbing or not.You cannot decide...that's why i love the sound.Because it makes you question and it gives you that "donno if I love it or not but fuck I find it nice" kind of feeling.

And yeah, today I heard the seagulls rolling up above once again.

And I remembered how much I miss Cardiff.

But the kidneys didn't hurt anymore .

Pain was gone.

Sometimes you wish you would you had...the balls

Yeah, that's what you're being telling yourself on a regular basis but at the end of the day you realize all on a sudden that you never had the guts to do so...
Nor did I...neither did them, the others...those you're still afraid of.Although you are pretty convinced "the others" won't bite you cuz you're a grown man now, you're still afraid.Is it normal?You've been living with an inner terror every now and then.Don't try to justify your darn stupid behaviour.I'm good at reading folks and can read you as quickly as a blink of an eye.

People don't bite.
People won't approach you unless you give them a fair amount of signs to do so.
People don't care but they can learn all the most important things about self reliance and all those odds and ends.
People are victims and so are you.Assume it.Live with it.In the long run, it's your own Hell, isn't it?!
But wait a minute...why this need to overthink everything to the point you're somehow ready to proclaim yourself a martyr of your epoch and at that magic point yo're expecting the others to erect a white marble statue and maybe start to worship it afterwards?Wouldn't that be just sweet?
LOL.
You know what, doc?It seems to me like drama doesen't sell very good nowadays.So, would you kindly fuck off?Would you?Huh?
x

Hey ho

For some reason, I find bit weird to wake up early in the morning and start brush my teeth whilst my effing gums are bursting in a warm jet of blood.Damn nasty!But in the same time I find it darn releasing as I feel as if a huge amount of unnecessary "stuff"(soz, but I cannot find a proper word to best fit in this case, eh?) falls apart.Beside this aspect, I think mornings are cute in a very particular way, thinking of the whole way from your bed down to the frigging cold bathroom.

Anyway, unlike most folks who really hate Mondays, I really fancy Monday early mornings...especially when you can find the pleasure of a hot shower(+additional wanking or not, depends on the mood) after the entire annoying odissey from your room to the bathroom.Well, if you're after Xanax you'd best start to get rid of the whole tension which had taken you over.
Rediscovered my passion for little nothings, I ooze inspiration when it comes to writing and hell yeah, my beloved Marlboros are back in stayul!
x

Drench me in unholy water

For all those crappy moments when I had to swallow unwanted words, leaking horendously shallow down my throat, for all those moments I shall spit out the sin.

I have never came to a conclusion whether if it's the sin which enslaves us or whether it's us who enslave the sin as many times we just keep on being caught in our own deluge, smoking wee and hunting high the crows on the October sky.

Dublin, 06:00 AM, february

Now i look back to all which was forth and I realize how little do I recall...nor the precious little boy I used to be once, neither the young man who lives within his own future.Somewhere in th presnt we all have bee lost, fella.

Yeh, we have been so.
Bring me back to Connemara and soak my shirt in whiskey, let me burn in 4 seconds, whisper trashy words next to my pierced ear and drench me in unholy water.I know you would enjoy all these odds and ends.

How green were the fields of Connemara...

From Danube Delta, with blood.

Hello, everyone.

Howdy stranger, what you are about to read is not quite a fairytale, but a harsh reality reflected through a horrible spectrum.What you are about to find out will not make your evening more entertaining, but will aware you of the fact that crime does exist.And it is not uncommon in nowadays society to speak about criminality as if it is a regular issue.It is not uncommon either to pretend we love animals, that we protect them and above all, we treat them as we would like to be treated, as our equals.

But is it the real case scenario?Do we really care about animals?Do we really love them the way we pretend to be loved?How far would we go if one day we find out on the internet that in some place in this darn big world, some creatures are forced to endure ordeals beyond any human way of understanding?How could we make justice and by which means?Is slaughter and torture the way we, the almighty sensible creatures expess our love and care towards the other living forms?

These are just a few questions which might randomly strike your mind if one day, all on a sudden, you find some tragic images depicting wild animals enduring great pains, beyond any morale.

Two days ago, i was enjoying my 3 o clock coffee, when i got an invitation on facebook, letting me know the last wild horses in Europe, to be more specific, those from Danube Delta, Letea Forest(Romania) have been caught, stabbed and slaughtered and injured by the locals, being kept in very poor conditions, facing starvation and dehydration.

The video bellow will help you to envisage the way the wild horses use to live in their natural habitat.

Wild horses roaming free in Letea Forest

71 wild horses have been kept for more than one week in miserable conditions, being exposed to both physical abuse and psychological stress.

Maybe you wonder now what is the purpose of this horrible ordeal the animals had and unfortunatelly they still have to pass through.

Well, in some parts of Romania, mainly in iolatd countryside areas such as Letea Forest, people still live in the dark ages, thinking that anything could be sold, any living creature could be killed, any human value could be lost.The locals of Letea injured the animals without assuming they are slaughtering endemic creatures which cannot be found in any other part of Europe.They caught the wild horses in order to sell them to an abattoir from Oradea(western Romania) for less than £20 each.From there, the meat will be transported to countries like Italy, France or Belgium and each kilo would cost no more than 3 euro.

A wild horse could be bought for no more and no less than £19.

Its future?Salami and sausages in the Italian, French and Belgian butcheries as delicatessen.

The wild horses of the Danube Delta are a true natural wonder and a priceless national heritage which attracted and fascinated tourists throughout the years.In 2010, The Guardian wrote about the charm and amazing grace these wild creatures have.They were roaming free the lands and the surounding marshlands.
They were free and they did not whitness no bareer, a true symbol of freedom and grace.


Now they face an undeserved death.In the last 48h, people from all over the country signed a petition, asking for help from both national and international non governamental organisations which get involved in the protection of wildlife species and environment.

The local authorities from Tulcea County, where the Danube Delta is situated are very corrupted and their man interest is to earn as much money as they can.Their greed and lust for money know no boundaries.They are the ones who are held responsible for the slaughter of the 71 wild horses of the Letea Forest and therefore, their hands are painted with blood.


We ask you, howdy stranger, who had the patience to read this article, to get involved in our fight against animal slaughter and abuse, against degradation of human values and above all, against CRIME!We ask for justice and we stand our cause so that these magnificent creatures, the last wild horses of Europe have the right to live!


Do spread this message and pass it to all those who are against crime and animal slaughter!Let s make justice for the the last wild horses of Europe!Do not let them die so you could show to your own children these animals roaming free and ALIVE in 15 years time.The Danube Delta will still be there.The stillness of the wild horses is unfortunatelly uncertain.

From Danube Delta,
with blood